mmmmm, split pea soup at 3 am! is there anything better?! yeah, probably, but still damn good on a frigid -10F night!
i've really done nothing today. i was supposed to be working on (you know...starting and finishing) a term paper for my industrial sociology class. alas, i have not even found pertinent references. it won't be a huge deal, as i have an A coming into it, it was my topic choice, and is mostly a reactionary paper. still, 8-10 pages is a lot for one day. and by the time i'll probably wake up, i'll be down to well <12 hours. that may sound like a lot of time, but i'm finding it hard to focus lately. i don't know if it's all the recent and impending life changes or what. i'm really not eating much either, which is not good. and not working out. double whammy.
i have a first date on wednesday. she's a super sweet girl. 24, nurse, great conversationalist, intelligent, emotional. a very old soul, like me. we seem to have a lot in common so far, but i know she's seeking a serious monogamous relationship. commitment. it's kind of off-putting; even the prospect of commitment. i've been nearly completely honest with her about the past few months and me dating at times up to three people at once. i have not disclosed to her, however, that many of these dating relationships primarily revolved around sex. just a conscious omission. anyway, we click a lot, but i can be pretty different in person. i'm a far better writer, when it comes to first impressions. i can come off as very brash to those first meeting me. which i guess in many ways i am. my self-confidence can appear to many as arrogance at first. until they get to know me a little bit better. my humor can be very crude and overtly sexual too. again, those who know me expect and love it. i love it. those who don't know me think i'm an angel, so often in new encounters, there's a clash of their expectations and reality. i like to push boundaries like that; test comfort zones without really consciously testing them. i don't know if that will make sense to anyone else. anyway, back to the date... i suggested we meet at the botanical gardens, mostly because i've been wanting to go there for years. also, i'm sure it will be beautiful, interesting, and most likely incredibly fragrant. and afterward, if she still wants to kick it, there's a high-end wine craze thing at a chill bar/lounge right downtown. small plates/tapas, $5/glass of 2 exclusive wines on wednesdays. i don't know what "exclusive" wine selection is all about, but the syrah/shiraz sounds fucking amazing. exclusive = amazing? we'll certainly find out. the whole scenario sounds soooo dreadfully romantic though! so not my style, but she's from well outside of the city so i thought i'd at least offer up a good time and do something different. and fun.
well, off to bed with my belly full of soup! tomorrow may just be hella stressing over the paper. and finances. we'll see what comes up.
...i'm so lazy lately. goodnight.
PEACE and LOVE to ALL
I hate writing papers. Starting is the worst. Once I get going, I can slog through it, but that first paragraph is like trying to swim through molasses with an angry hippo on my back.
ReplyDeleteIt's just not easy.
I'm sure she will pick up on the commitment thing, or it will come out soon. Because at some point, she will probably hint towards making things exclusive. But, it might be nice to tell her sooner rather than later.
To be fair, me giving relationship advice is like a penguin giving flying lessons to an albatross.
You do come across as confident in your writing, but that is not a bad thing! If you were to be given the choice between having too much self confidence, or none at all, too much would be the wiser choice.
Take my word, as someone with NO self confidence.
And sex humor is the best.
I imagine the first joke was a bunch or cave people standing around. One says "BOOBS!", and the fall of man begins. Sex is just a fun, silly, crazy thing.
I assume. All my sex knowledge comes from science, and incessantly asking my friends questions.
And erotic literature. Which I love.
You should take some photos at the garden. I am a camera whore when it comes to taking photos, and a fucking NINJA when it comes to dodging them. But I do like looking at photos.
Hopefully your day goes well! Good luck!
oh i agree! i'm still struggling, but am including some stuff from a related paper i wrote a few weeks ago on a similar topic lol.
ReplyDeletei'm very honest with the girls i date and/or sleep with. and as much as i dread commitment right now, i do miss certain aspects of it. familiarity and security being just two of those things. i don't honestly feel ready for commitment though. like, to the point of it being a big turn off and makes me want to avoid giving too-good of a first impression. that exact thing happened recently on a first date. i just wasn't feelin her because of her intentions of finding love and sort of expressed it through disinterest. i'm sure the beer didn't help, but i don't even remember what we talked about for 4 hours. at all. eh. whatever, it will be fun tomorrow, i'm sure. i love meeting new people and bouncing my ideas and thoughts off of them and vice verse.
i just got out of my last class of the semester!! yay! it was definitely an ear and eye full of twisted grossness! two words: jeffery dahmer. the lead investigator on the case spoke all about him and the case today. Mr. J.D. was one SERIOUSLY fucked up individual! i may now be distracted by all of the pictures of bodies (his victims) that he took. dead, posed, suspended in a tub, skinned, and cut the fuck up. he kept WEINERS!! and heads! to play with...sexually!! fucking yackfest man.
i have no camera right now or i totally would take some pretty pics! the ex got the camera in the separation :( but i got the more useful BED (score), so i'm ok with it.
ok, back to crankin words out. for points.