upset vagina

so yet again i have come down with an infection...downtown. this time the culprit is yeast, Candida albicans, to be precise. i had done a lot of research previously on homeopathic treatments of both BV and candidiasis which have been extremely helpful. i'm not at all a fan of going to the doctor, only for them to prescribe medications that have only tipped my vaginal flora to the other extreme before. it's a fool me once kinda thing. so, with an open mind, i attempted to treat this bitch at home using only great internet wisdom and the plethora of experience from others available.

the cause? i'm not exactly sure, but it could definitely have something to do with a sexual partner dumping half a bottle of tap water out of a gatorade bottle onto my poon last thursday night during the dirty (i was drying up and we were both outta spit). or the fact that i'm constantly on a beach in a wet bikini most of the weekend. or hormonal shifts. or diet (don't think so), or, or...eh, so over it; just wanted it gone ASAP!

the primary treatment regimen i started is THIS!!

wait, what the shit is THAT?!? why, it is a single clove of organic garlic. with a string sewn through it (for easy retrieval). easy, simple, mess-free, natural, and used for probably thousands of years (i imagine). it sounded semi-insane at first, but after reading tons of info on it, i thought, "wtf? why not. what harm could possibly happen from putting an uncut clove of garlic into my lady cavern?" haha. actually harm can happen, chemical burns to be exact from the oil...it's the reason why you leave it uncut and barely pierced. some women even chose to wrap it in cheesecloth or gauze. i'm not a fan of fabric in my twat and quite an avid stitcher, so i tried my own method.

day one is extremely promising - symptoms are nearly entirely gone :) . they recommend night-time insertion mainly because of the almost-instant (within 2 minutes) taste and smell of garlic in my face which lingers as long as it's up there! i asked my mom if i reeked and she said not at all. i'm assuming she is correct there since i am in no position to judge it for myself. recommended removal of cloves is every 5-12 hours so overnight is just fine :) and once a day seemed ideal.

the other treatment i considered was yogurt saturated tampons. plain, organic, UNsweetened yogurt was unavailable around here (don't get me started), so i wasn't about to substitute and take that chance. i did however purchase some oral Lactobacillus acidophilus, L. bulgaricus, L. bifidus, and Streptococcus thermophilus tablets from the drug store as well as garlic tabs and started those as soon as my ass hit the car seat haha. oh, and a dilute salt and vinegar bath. a friend was joking about what else i could add to make my cunt a meal and suggested spaghetti sauce haha. i said just get potato chips, i'll bring the dip...always too far lol. 


so, like i said, progress is promising. i (and millions of other women!!) just want this chronic problem to be over...for good. it is honestly the worst thing (admittedly an exaggeration) to have -- itchy, red, inflamed, swollen, painful lady bits (yeast infections do not smell at least! BV is another story...), but vaginas are fickle little creatures, i swear and when they're upset, you're upset...so best respect and look out for her best interest! 


PEACE and LOVE (and happy healthy vaginas!)